Blogging

Blogging

 

I found one of my passions, and I’ve been putting it off the last week or so, partially because I’ve been feeling bad about myself, partially because I’ve been afraid I had nothing to contribute and that I would fail. Writing, and blogging specifically has become a passion of mine. It is my outlet through which I reflect on myself and into the world key questions (I hope) that get people thinking. I know I’ve thought a lot about the questions I’ve posed recently. I was afraid that without a specific topic in mind at the start of each post, that I would turn into a puddle of goo. “Obligations” was one of my favorites though, because it offered insight into my passions without me having to do a deep dive into my psyche, a thirty minute mindfulness meditation, or being yelled at by anyone for being selfish and wondering if I truly am selfish being stuck in the inner thoughts of my life.

Another form of writing I have “taken up” seriously in the last few weeks and months is texting. You might laugh at that sentence, but it has truly become a positive thing in my life. Gone are almost all of the friendships that leaned on me solely for one thing and were one-way streets. Healthy relationships have replaced these where encouragement flows both ways and we strengthen each other, celebrate each other’s wins, and comfort each other during the difficult times. This is another reason I have not blogged so much. I have honestly been spending a lot of time in the thick of humanity. I’ve made several new friends, and almost all of them happened to be autistic. Okay, yes, almost all of them were from the online communities and groups for autistic people specifically so, duh, but those I randomly friended have mostly been autistic themselves. Facebook now thinks all autistic people are in the “people you may know” category. How is that for humor?

The thing I’m coming across is the diversity of the human experience, which shocks me day after day in a good way. I am learning to be less judgmental, less ableist, and kinder to myself by teaching them to be kinder to themselves. And they are SO helping me with the same thing!!! I now have people who I can text when I’m feeling rejection sensitivity and say “please encourage me,” and as soon as they respond, it’s with reminders of my strengths as a person and that I’m not what my mind is telling me I am (which is an utter failure of a human being). I am learning to spot lapses in confidence, ask a person why they have that, and help them question their own beliefs and patterns. It’s a wonderful experience!

I want to learn to take these things to the next level. I want to take them seriously. I’ve skated by long enough thinking “this is good enough for a beginner’s level.” I don’t want to be a beginner in my passion, and neither should you.

What is your passion? What time and effort are you willing to put into it to become great at it?

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