Through the Rain

Every Day The Same   I don’t know how to pass the days anymore. I don’t want anyone to get concerned, but my body has almost literally shut down. Most people when I describe my days might seem like I am lazy. Heck, I feel guilty and feel lazy while my husband works his butt off while he needs rest just as much as I do, but my body is at the point of literally shutting down. I don’t use “literally” as everyone else does in the figurative sense of metaphorically shutting down. I mean, I’m typing as fast as I can and already my eyes are starting to droop a little bit. It’s okay when I am doing very, very low energy things like “listening to music” without any words and not really listening to the music. Watching TV engages my mind too much that after fifteen to thirty minutes, my brain starts to drift. I have fallen asleep during texting conversations now. I set it on my chest. My arms hurt literally too much to get it off my chest to look at it, and before I know it, hours have p...

Dystoni What? Because of what I mentioned about death, I would feel amiss if I didn’t bring up what it has done to me. Past posts have told you that I have Major Depressive Disorder that I received from my mother. That was the only hereditary thing I hope I received from my parents. I also have General Anxiety Disorder which has been dropped or added at different points and Social Anxiety Disorder, which I didn’t know was a real thing, but makes sense. I rehearse and have to think extra hard about the beginnings of sentences and sometimes wing the endings of sentences because it takes too long. That causes me more anxiety, but people get impatient. I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which isn’t keeping everything neat, but I did alphabetize everything growing up or had them sorted by color or height (not kidding). I’m sorry Mike Fobair for alphabetizing your DVDs that one time. It pissed you off, but I asked the wrong person before I did it. When I’m overly stressed, I wash my hands...