Self Care: Candle Meditation

Uncluttered


I don’t even know how to start this one. I just spent a couple hours decluttering my house like I usually do through the course of the day, and it’s only 9am. I tried starting a blog entry when I first woke up about listening, but it all just seemed overwhelming. I overwhelmed myself within the first few minutes of waking up! Whatever voice is pushing me to do something, do more, do it right, do it perfectly…it’s not shutting up. It’s out of control.

Breathe. Deep breaths. I’m going to do a candle meditation, and I invite you to do it with me. Hold out your finger in front of your mouth as if it’s a flame. I know you look silly. So do I. Breathe in for the count of four…two. Three. Four. Hold. Two…three…four…Breathe out two—three—four. Suck in like your life depends on it slowly two three four. Hold two three four. And calmly out two three four. Imagine you are taking in the air of the fire as a fire-breathing dragon…three four. Hold that fire in your belly… three four. And blow the candle out gently two three four. And again two three four. Hold calm in your mind two three four. Out two three four. And hold two three four.

I feel better. Do you?

Sorry. I still sometimes get anxiety or panic attacks, no matter what I try. They aren’t full-fledged hyperventilating, finger-numbing, chest pain, tension throughout my body anymore (usually) anymore, but I still get them. Just because I may put on airs that I’ve gone through the process doesn’t mean I’m finished with the process. I’m just maybe further along than some people and would like to help those people out and learn from others!  That’s why I’m excited for almost 250 views! I know that most of those views are from friends and family, and I am so grateful for that. If it ever takes off beyond that and starts getting more comments of people who have been in similar situations than I have, I believe we can build a community of encouraging individuals! I don’t know how to search for them if they exist. Most require insurance, and I would rather a free space with people who have gleaned information from experience and teachings of professionals, not so we can say who is “right” and who is “wrong”, but so we can build a space of tolerance and empathy.

One thing I learned in Partial Hospitalization is that I am a far cry from a trauma specialist! They possess a patience that I have yet to see in myself and have years to grow into. Another thing they have is a set of skills far beyond my capabilities. I always wanted to ask one set of questions to get at why something was the way it was, and it wasn’t always about the why. They asked about the how something came to be. And by understanding the how something came to be, they slowly understood the steps that led to the why something led to Z. And they didn’t jump in and go from A to Z to try to help the client. They met the client at A and said “what do you need to understand to want to get you to change from A to B?” And that’s what makes them good at what they’re at, and me in the client seat as the patient with trauma.

I want to help people. That’s the reason for this blog. It’s helping me now. And if it just helps me, then I guess it’s worth it in the end! But seriously, I hope some people receive hope and/or wisdom or tips and tricks from reading now over thirty blog posts!

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