To Be Forgotten

Are You Sure??? What About...Colorado????


I just had the craziest dream, and even as I’m typing it’s going away, but it’s the type of scary that’s Black Mirror terrifying, that it going away is part of what’s terrifying.

I woke up in a giant room full of beds in a hospital gown. The lights were mostly off, but there were computer screens at the edge of the room. We were all terrified, but got to know each other. One of the people was my college roommate Molly, so we knew each other right off the bat. As we started to get to know each other, we started noticing we would forget each other. The room started filled with hospital beds, but people literally started disappearing. There were hovering computer assistants, but I don’t remember what in the world they were doing except “providing us with information”, so we tried looking up information on the people who kept disappearing, except there was no information on them… in the entire internet!

We really started freaking out. It was like the end of the world, but this conspiracy of a Corporation or whomever to permanently Disappear people. If you never saw someone’s face again, would you ever think of them? Are you sure? What if you never saw their name? We remember someone when something reminds us of them. What if nothing ever reminded us of someone and Someone or Something made sure of it?

We yelled out “They would remember us!” Then the pissed off Computer/Evil Manipulator yelled “Well then what about Colorado!?” It took me a second, but I yelled back “Aspen, Denver, Mountains” as the place I was in fell to pieces and I woke up afraid that Colorado had fallen off the Earth’s radar. I Googled it, and it was still at number two boring as ever waiting to be picked under football teams and football scores and such.

I don’t know why this dream felt so important to me. Perhaps it’s because it did feel like I could be forgotten at any moment, and we all have to deal with that fear. The less connections we make in life, the less we have to worry about it, but I’m less worried about my name being known by a hundred people than my story fully being known by a dozen. I guess that’s what irks me so much about this blog. I keep doing it for me, but “popularity” and “wanting to be known” keep creeping in, and I have to remind myself that I’m lucky to have over a hundred views so far! Even if almost a fifth of them are on “Drunk Uncle Boundaries” alone! 

I guess everyone fears being forgotten, and the truth is, we all will be at some point. But what impact will we make now, while we are here? Will we let things out of our control rule our lives and make them miserable? Or will we find a way to maybe have some misery in our lives but have some free time to say “this is my space, and this is how I am contributing to the world”?

I just hope another blog is seen as contributing and not as ranting!!!

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