The Opposite of People Pleasing

The Opposite of People Pleasing


I’m brand new to this theory. I’ve barely dipped my toes into it, and I may just do that. But it may just change my life forever. I don’t know if you’ve heard of Mel Robbins and her “Let Them” theory, but it’s seriously as easy as it sounds. It’s taking the age-old philosophy of the only thing you can control is you and your responses to things, and putting it into two words: let them. Someone doesn’t want to do something you want to do? Let them. Someone wants to complain all day and not take your relationship seriously? Why have it? Someone wants to thank you and appreciate you? Let them wholeheartedly!

Again, I’m no expert in this. What I just said kind of sounds like reacting to people’s actions, and maybe that’s the whole point. But it’s a way to get away from the mindset of always worrying about pleasing the other person. If they don’t like what I think, let them. And it’s not some passive-aggressive, grand-standing act of defiance. I think of it more like letting the wind blow where it wants to blow and not standing in its way. Because frankly I’m tired of trying to change people’s minds, especially over something trivial like opinions. They want to have their opinions? I’ll try to let them be.

Now, I haven’t gotten to the part where if the opinion is blatantly racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, etc, so I don’t know how that plays into it. But “let them”… but teach them, but let them do with the information what they want.

It’s honestly a relief to hear those words. There have been several friends who just don’t find an interest in me anymore, so I don’t find an interest in them. I may just tell a few to leave me alone. Draw boundaries. Is that rude? To draw boundaries against people who are in a friendship just for themselves and not for the other person?

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