Social Media Addiction

Social Media Addiction

Here it is. We all knew that sooner or later I would talk about the dangers of social media and how bad it is for you, even though I will probably post a link to this on Facebook and keep looking at my phone every minute or less. I’m watching “The Social Dilemma” on Netflix because after days of watching my favorite comedians over and over, I must turn to a documentary.

It took a long time for me to post a next blog post because I had a job interview on Monday. I think it went well. They said HR would be in touch, but of course they didn’t know exactly when. I spent the entire week paralyzed by depression and anxiety because I didn’t know if the phone call was coming or when or if it would happen this week. So I scrolled Facebook. I messaged friends. I watched the same comedy over and over. I had to force myself out of bed, force myself to eat, force myself to act like everything was normal when in reality I just wanted time to shut down until the phone call.

“That’s not addiction” you might say, but isn’t it? Obsessing over one thing and being paralyzed to nearly everything else sounds like addiction to me. My life revolved around a phone call. I was afraid to leave the house. Afraid to shower between 8am-4pm. I was glued to my phone. Did I do anything constructive with my phone during that time? Not really. I was scrolling social media, waiting for the next text message, and trying to distract myself. Even after 4 or 5 when the office would surely be closed, it was difficult to wind down and relax. I told myself over and over that life could resume once I got the call either way. Either I would continue the job search, or I would finally have stability. 

The truth is that social media has kept me in bed more hours the past months than should be allowed. There is nothing wrong with messaging people. I’m not saying that at all! It’s just… There are only so many apps, and once you have gone through Snapchat and Facebook and Messenger (which are really the only three I use), then there is left an empty hole. I learn a lot from Facebook reels from psychologists and CEOs and video personalities like Elyse Meyers who openly struggles with neurodivergence yet is living her best life because she constantly tries to grow. There is another mother and son with autism and ADHD that I can’t think of right now, but he is going through eating different foods, which is something terrifying for him. But he’s taking huge steps, and I see that, and I want to grow. 

But most of social media is ads or things that distract, which is great if you need to buy something or your brain is mush and you just need a distraction. But that’s not me every day, all day, and I’ve fallen into cell phone paralysis. I need to take my life back. One of the things I recently learned about myself is that there was next to no privacy in our house, so there were no boundaries. I need to learn and practice making boundaries for myself. Part of why I have been so quiet is that even though I am an open book, I have been venting to process trauma, and not everyone needs to know everything about my life. Some things can be mine and mine alone. I feel like most of my life has been reacting, and it’s time I learn how to regulate myself and act accordingly. I will make mistakes, and I plan on failing but trying again. That’s what happens when you learn something new. I…haven’t been good at that. Don’t be afraid if I don’t post as often. There is less trauma happening in my life, and for that I am grateful. It has allowed me to help others who are not feeling the best. I think encouragement, like many other things, is a skill and a talent, and I think I have been talented with it and am working on becoming better at it.

Do you feel your time on social media is in your control, or do you wonder if it’s controlling you?